I’m feeling grumbly this morning.
(…so you’ll probably enjoy this email – like all my rants)
Did you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or get off to a bad start, and have EVERYTHING piss you off for the rest of the day?
That’s how I’m feeling right now.
I always find the best thing to do in that situation is avoid people because harsh truths delivered in a short, sharp manner are never well received.
So, in no particular order, here’s some of the dumb shit people have said to me over the last 6 months that has made them impossible to help.
== “I want to get fit first” ==
Are you fucking kidding me? You want to get fit before you join a gym? You’ve spent that last 5 years getting fat and out of shape on your own, and you’re standing in front of someone DESPERATELY trying to help you change your fucking life. And you want to try and figure it out yourself, and THEN go and ask for help off that person?
Stop being an asshole.
== “I don’t want to get too big” ==
Shit.. ok. After 10 years of solid committed work and never missing more than a few days of training, I still haven’t woken up too big. Neither has Sarah, or any of the amazing girls we train.
But I get it, you’re special – you’ve those magic growth genes.
…by the way – if you come back to me a few weeks later and tell me you’re gaining muscle and your tops are too tight, and at the same time your fucking bodyfat measurements have gone up – IT’S NOT MUSCLE MAKING YOUR CLOTHES TIGHT.
You know if you stay the same weight and get stronger while losing body fat, your clothes will actually be looser?
== “I want to get fit for sport, lifting weights won’t help” ==
First off, you’re wrong. NFL. Leicester. Pro Rugby. CrossFit. Dundalk. Dublin GAA.
Second, you’ve been training years and you’re injured, broken and miss games all the time. Maybe you should shut the hell up and listen to someone who actually knows what they’re talking about?
Getting stronger and moving better will improve acceleration, power, endurance, how hard you can hit someone, how hard you can BE hit without getting hurt, and iron out a lifetime of imbalances caused be running laps because some fucking 60 year old lad with the best intentions in the world learned that’s the way to do it 45 years ago when he was a teenager.
You wanna get match fit? Go to GAA training, sure. But if you can’t last thru those training sessions because you’re so broken, STFU and do what I tell you to do.
== “I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough” ==
Ok, do burpees until your arms are so tired your smash your teeth off the floor. Tell me how you feel after that. And what you’ve achieved.
Go and do hill sprints until you vomit. Congratulations, you’re “hardcore”.
Know what else you are? STUPID. If you’re broken down after every training session, eventually you’ll be so tired, fatigued and pissed off that you won’t train at all. Then you’ll get fat. Your friends won’t like you. No one will love you. And even your cat won’t wanna go near your grease covered hands because it doesn’t want its fur even MORE matted because you’re too outta shape to bend over and come it.
A good training system will push you most of the time, kill you some of the time and give you easy days and weeks every now and again to allow you to recover. Believe it or not – we don’t just pull the workouts out of our holes and make random guesses. We actually plan them to make you better over the MONTHS, not days.
== The people who’ll spend €100 on a night out, but won’t spend €40 on a gym ==
Last month I spent €300+ on coffee and protein bars, and €400+ on takeaways and nights out. I don’t even want to discuss how stupid I am for not realising that sooner.
What I did know tho, was that I was spending A LOT on that crap. I just wasn’t ready to confront it.
If you complain about a gym membership where you get 3 coached personal training sessions, 2 bootcamp sessions, access to a nutritionist, body fat calcs, plans and all your questions answered and think €38.75 is a rip off for that…
…well excuse me while I go headbutt a table.
Not everyone will take advantage of ALL that we can offer because of work, life and family commitments, but if you need some extra help – just freakin’ ask us. That’s what we’re here for.
We’d much rather spend 2/3 hours answer your Q this week than trying to put you back together in 6 months when it’s all fallen apart and you’re broken, frustrated, and pissed off.
(…I just remembered this one because as I was writing this mail I saw Michael’s one come in asking for more help on his off days with some extra prehab / strength work – kudos, Michael!!)
== “Can I just do one or two sessions and follow the program on my own?” ==
Actually… this ones a maybe. Some people do a great job doing that. I’ve 7 or 8 guys and girls who I write programs for and leave off to their own devices. I trust them, I know they’re experienced, and they’ve proved that they’re worth my time and trust.
…yes – that might sound a bit rough, but I care so much about everyone I train that when they act the dick, go off program or just do something stupid (…like say maxing EVERY TIME THEY’RE IN THE GYM) I’ve no option but to pull the plug on them.
Not cos I don’t care, but because I can’t handle the emotional stress of seeing someone I’m supposed to be looking after do something so stupid. They’re not gonna change. I can’t change them. And I’m not gonna force myself to get frustrated at them every day.
What’s the take away?
If you’re training with someone you trust, whether in RevFit, a different gym, or with a sports team – and that person has a legacy of results and reliable consistent progress with the people they look after… just fucking listen to them.
You may not make progress as fast you WANT.
But you will make progress as fast as you CAN.
And stop buying generic training programs on the internet. You’ll never be their next success story unless you take a boat load of steroids and fat burners.
PS – If you’re a lady, and not a complete mong, and want to GENUINELY make yourself better, I’m sitting here DESPERATE for you to reach out and ask for help – read all about our next ladies program here, join, and don’t make the mistakes you just read about: https://revolutionfitness.leadpages.co/ladies-lifting-program-short/